25 random things
25 random things.....
1. I go to Disneyland for the atmospheric experience first, and then to ride the rides.
2. I want to travel the world. I would love to spend a year in Paris, a year in Italy, and a year in Japan.
3. I have a love affair with an invisible man, because he can provide everything and nothing for me at the same time. I'm convinced I will be Liz Lemon from 30 rock when I get older.
4. I have an affinity with ceramic arts
5. I don't really have a favorite color now days...
6. My favorite "celebrities" are people I would love to meet in person and pick their brain... they not only have to be good looking... but they have to have to be interesting...
7. When I reflect on my life, there is a soundtrack to it. I also think in 3rd person, and in story modes, and me retelling situations... I know... I'm strange.
8. It's strange... I want to be this impactful, brilliant, positive, and courageous woman... but somedays I can't even look at myself in the mirror.
9. I love surfing and I teach surfing better than I actually surf... though I wish I were good enough that going pro was an option for me.
10. I want to help fund my missionary friends to go to the field.
11. I have a love hate relationship with higher education.
12. I think that expensive purses, colorful heels, and over priced jeans are over rated... though I really love them for some dumb reason...
13. Taxidermy is a cool, yet creepy thing.
14. I garden and know what I'm doing... I want a HUGE garden when I'm older... Bed and Breakfast Inn maybe?
15. I think that I enjoy the functional art of certain cultures more than I enjoy abstract art (no offense... but really... I love you... but I don't love you....)
16. I will one day own 2 dogs, Olive the Schnauzer and Riley the Border Collie
17. I haven't been able to sleep like a normal person for a year.
18. I want to design my own house, the furniture inside and my studio... maybe a boat.
19. It's my dream to be on CSI (VEGAS ONLY) one day... like a victim that runs through like 8 episodes than gets killed off gruesomely in the end... (I have a great story line)
20. I want to have a collection of mason jars
21. I hope to buy a new art book every month once I graduate from college.
22. I want to subscribe to 20 magazines at once in my life...
23. I think it's sexy when a man gets pissed off when trying to do something nice for a woman and she gets in the way of everything.
24. I want to learn how to throw knives, daggers, tomahawks, and any other sort of sharp weapon well.... and I want to learn how to fence, use a sword... and I would like to go to a shooting range... and use guns... I realllllllllly want to learn this.
25. The internet is one of my best friends... and I have a love affair with face book.
Something’s Missing, and I don’t know what it is…
I'm at this point in my life... I feel like I should be doing everything or nothing. The only thing consistent in my life is that it consistently falls apart. It's so frustrating.
I don't even know what to say anymore.
After looking back on the past decade of time elapsed... I think I'm going to go about things differently. I'm not calling this a quarter life crisis... but more of an age of awaking. We're going to call it the grown up me. Older self.
I guess it's a sad midway new years resolution... but I think it's more of a wake up call... I keep asking myself the question:
"Am I living it right?"
In an awkward kind of slur I mutter out something along the lines of: I guess maybe no.
So... we're in the business to change that answer. So... I'm hoping to put the vulnerable artist side away, and use it only in the studio... and bring together a new self of positive natured, early rising, coffee drinking, schedule sticking, routine master, health guru, all while whipping out a new body of work that's satisfactory to what I want.
Don't worry... I'm scared too.
xoxo
I’m the hero of this story, I don’t need to be saved
Sitting here... 22 years of age, freshly graduated the only thing I feel is emptiness. I feel so empty. So broken. I really don't feel like I have anything to live for. I graduated, I did that. Ok now what? Great Red Robin for the next 2 years of my life... awesome.
I never-ever saw this coming at all. It's all right... no one's got it all.
My life is so full of, "You should do this"... and ... "You need to be doing that" so much dictation on what I should be, and who I need to become. So many shoes to be filled at this point. I graduated college and did most of what I was told to do. I've been doing everything that I was told to do my whole long life. When do I finally get to tell myself what to do? I am even getting lip from my friends about potentially dropping my fullerton classes. I hate the JC mentality. People keep telling me to push through it. I mean... ceramics I can sort of handle. But past a point I find it some what pointless. I find that the amount of stress that it adds to my life is not healthy. The drive there kills me, and all for what. To have a studio time space slot for 4 hours. Man... it takes me at least 8 to crank out something I really like, and then can start rolling it out. But the key point is being in the studio. Plus the studio at fullerton is crowded. Almost too crowded. Like... I can't see myself making what I want to there. Starting work on my graduate portfolio isn't an option there. I seriously thought I was ready for grad school. But I really just want to wait.
School has been my priority for majority of my life. I want to take what I have, digest it and put it into practice finally.
So there. I said it. I want to start living... And then somehow shove grad school in there. And for the most part... I don't plan on getting married. ever. so... it should be ok. marriage and love is so overrated. booooo.
so cheer up... and watch elmo and john mayer.
<3
Half of My Heart’s Got a Grip on the Situation
Oh man. Coming to realize that you have a measly 5 days left in a studio that you made a home in is heart breaking. Mostly because I have way too much stuff and not enough room, but it's like I'm losing a part of myself. Needless to say that I also move onto another chapter of my life, but it really is disturbing me. Graduation, yeah, I teared up. But now that I have to take my final resting home out of Biola, it's hitting me... I'm no longer a student. I'm getting older. How do I stop it? I really just wish I could go back into high school where things were easier. I'm turning into an adult, and now money is the key factor to my future. No pressure you know. I'm finally getting into the idea that I'm probably going to be a web designer by day, and a studio ceramist by night. In order for that to become a reality though, I need to buy a new program thats around $1000. SO I figure if I'm going to buy it, I might as well buy a new computer. BUT I'm kind of greedy in the sense that I want a desktop and a new laptop. (I'll take what I can get though) so figure in another $2500 for a desktop. THEN I probably need to invest in a new wardrobe. Professional looking clothes you know? So another $400 or so. and I really don't want to buy expensive clothes until I can work off the stress weight. SO thinking another $35 a month for a gym pass. AND I have no mode of transportation. so... tag on another $400 a month for that. SO basically I'm going to be at the good old Red Robin for another 2 years or so. Can you tell I'm slightly panicking? AHHHH. I'm praying. You should be too.
Anyway. I have been trying to finish out the rest of what I have in the way of clay. All 600lbs or so of it. SO hopefully my etsy.com shop will finally have something. BUT that's when I get my computer back... yep. My newer but not quite new computer is at apple care for the 3rd time in its life. I think I can only run a life-span of 2 years on a laptop before I need a new one. Right now I'm using the old Dinosaur (wow a whole 4.5 years lol) and it's so annoyingly slow. I can't wait to get newer one back.
Looking over what I have going on lately, I really have been going crazy. God has put somethings in my life that I need to rise to the occasion for but I'm just too scared to do, so I'll fall back into bad habits and not care. SO bad. So as I sit here, spilling my life out for all of you, I just really am kind of stunned. I just had this crazy show, with a great turnout, and great feedback. But now it's like 5 weeks later and I have been doing a lot of things... but nothing really impressive. I have a lot coming up within the next 2 months. Which will be exciting... but at the same time, draining. I feel like I'm going farther from what I want to be doing that I'm almost completely away from it. We'll see what the Lord blesses me with.
So for homework (For the both of us) catch up on some extra-curricular reading, and spend some time just listening.
Right now I'm in the middle of: The Creative Habit by Tywlia Tharp. And just starting: This year I will... and The artist's way.
I'll get some pictures up soon. And finish my web sites. I promise.
finals
My favorite is when you study or do homework for a class and then realize the prof omitted that AFTER you did the study time for it. Thanks prof for the free knowledge that I won't use... probably ever. I've just wasted 3 precious hours I could have used for something relevant to the coming 24 hours of my life... like your final.
Lists
I've been making a lot of lists lately. A L O T. Mainly thing needed, to do, daily goals, unrealistic goals. You see where I go. But I kind of want to make a fun list.
10 places to go once I graduate:
New York, Grand Canyon
San Francisco, Hawaii
Alaska, Australia
Paris, Italy
Japan, China
some what unrealistic, but fun.
Back to work.
6 weeks and counting
6 weeks till the big day. AHHHHH!!!! (no not a wedding... but my first solo senior show)
Ok so this is my sad attempt at blogging. I'm trying this out and I hope I like it and you like it. I've tried this before, but it got super melodramatic and pointless. ANYWHO. I'll update you on a few fun facts:
My skin hates me.
Yep.
I have a show. Dec 7th-11th. Its called:
steeped. a ceramic installation.
annnnnnd I got a super awesome internship with @Lorikoop http://www.lorikoop.com 
<3 Gretchen